It’s Time For A Change!
Something has got to give I would say to myself while pulling over to cry on my way out of town. I would wake up at 2 or 3 am because the anxiety would force my mind to race, which is what would cause my eyes to open. I knew something was wrong and I knew I was under a lot of stress, but I had handled so many hard things before, so I pushed through.
I just kept meditating and praying each day for this to pass.
What thing had to pass? The stress, stress was always present and was always going to come up because that was work, right? Was “this” my emotions? Nope, not it, because being a highly sensitive person my emotions lead me to my intuition. Was “this” the traveling? Kind of. I was sad when I had to leave my family and be gone for several days, which effected my healthy mindset and routines. But that still was not it. Over the course of a year, I just kept asking myself what “this” was. I remember getting little intuitive hits during my meditations, but I was not ready to hear what they were saying. I would often hear, “slow down or quiet the noise”. I was not sure what either one meant, which is why I was not ready to listen. I would softly whisper to myself, “I am slowing down, I am meditating”.
A couple of months went by and I got a phone call from my Mom telling me that my Grandpa was not doing well, and she was headed down to take care of him. I followed shortly after so that I could take care of her and keep her company. During this time, I had to slow down at work and make my family a priority, which was a first for me. The anxiety would creep up because I was out of my comfort zone, which was go, go, go all the time. I had a detailed agenda for every day and now I was in a place where I had to just be. I had a lot of quiet time because he lived on the Indian River, which lead to the Atlantic Ocean. The wildlife and the sounds of the river put me into a trance during my meditations.
I had never been so quiet and still in my life.
During one of my meditations there, the Universe smacked me upside my head and said you need to quit your job. I remember a feeling of exhilaration followed by a voice saying, “oh hell no, you can’t do that!”. The voices sent me down the anxiety trap of question overload; how will you pay your mortgage, what about health insurance, how will you handle your retirement, how will you continue to pay for groceries, etc. The anxiety won the battle inside and the exhilaration subsided. I silenced myself to ensure I stayed safe instead of surrendering and curiously digging in deeper to the exhilaration I felt.
But that was not the end of that little whisper. The whisper continued to push itself through during my meditations and journaling practice. I would hear the same things repeatedly; silence the noise, listen to what your heart is saying, quit your job, slow down and it is time to be fearless. It was as if I planted my own seed, which now knowing what I know, the seed was always there I just needed to water it. When I started to water it and give it the attention it deserved, I started to ask myself questions due to my curiosity. One question that I asked myself was, what did I love about my job. I listed out several things that led me to do a google search for which I had no idea what would pop up. A large list popped up and there was one thing that stood out to me and it was a Life Coach. I felt an intuitive hit and allowed my curiosity to be the driver. I started clicking and down the rabbit hole I went looking for ways to become a life coach. I found out that I needed to be ICF accredited to become a certified coach and then I found a place where I could get the certification and much more. It was iPEC, the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching, that I immediately felt like something bigger was in control and there was no denying it. I remember feeling so excited and wanted to shout out loud, I found it, I found what I want to do next, and it speaks to my soul.
A couple of months went by again and the feeling of excitement faded because so much had happened at work. The thing was, I was great at my job and it paid extremely well, but I could not ignore the feeling I felt when I read what a Life Coach did. My ego would try to keep me safe and numb by saying, “why would you want to start your own business, you have the job you always wanted”. But I knew deep down inside that it was time for a change, and I had to listen to my heart. So, I decided to surrender and take one step at a time. So, I enrolled in iPEC and attended my first module several months later. After the first day I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. The excitement and exhilaration resurfaced, and my soul was awakened. I found myself in a place of gratitude for taking the first step. I realized that weekend what the “this” was that needed to change. It was my career, and I was so terrified when I came to that conclusion, yet I found myself also in a place of elation.
I decided to take it one step at a time from there and allow my heart to lead the way. I told myself that I would not try to figure it all out at once and allow things to flow naturally by surrendering to my higher purpose. I trusted that when the time was right to make any big moves I would know. Several months into this journey of unfolding and surrendering a peer coach asked me what I would do if I had no fear. I said without any hesitation that I would quit my job tomorrow. After I said it, I literally looked around the room as if someone else had said those words. It shocked me to my core, and I was not sure what to do with it, except to stay curious and open. I had another peer ask me what the perfect scenario I was looking for to make a career change and I said that I wanted to make sure my teams were all in a great spot before I left. That answer did not sit well with me for some reason, so I decided to journal about it. As I was writing
I realized that my entire life I was always making sure everyone else was comfortable before I took care of myself.
That realization did not align with who I was becoming because one of my new values was to practice radical self-love, and to do that was to put myself first. In that moment, I decided that I was going to commit to putting myself first, ahead of my team, my company, and my ego, which made me feel empowered. Several weeks later, I turned in my resignation. I DID THE THING and changed “this”. I knew it was the right thing to do for my health, happiness, and this newfound spirit that I needed to water.
Since that moment I have never looked back. I was so nervous leading up to my last day, but I knew that there was something bigger going on and my curiosity and excitement outweighed my fear. I no longer wanted to play small, numb, safe, and quiet. I wanted to play fearlessly, loudly and with my soul as my guide, not my ego. I am now the Captain of my ship! I determine what success looks like and how I live my life and it is an amazing feeling.
What is your “this”?
What will it take for you to do the thing?
What would you do if you had no fear?
Work with me so we can tap into your limitless potential and discover your passions and purpose. IT’S TIME!
